Spicy intrigue – the thing that makes you unable to control your face, and you have to smile when you think of that thing that they said that time. The little spice added that you miss when they are not in your life anymore.

So, a friend finds the perfect man. On the first night they see each other, at the end of the night, after he already has her hooked whether he knows it or not, he informs her that he’s leaving. Of course, she thinks. The perfect man couldn’t just be here - there had to be a catch.

Mild disappointment – the feeling you get when something might prove to be too good to be true. This action involves skepticism.

So, a friend finds the perfect man. He asks her if she would like to see him again. He explains that he would very much like to see her. She agrees to see him again (she’s already hooked – she didn’t even have to think about it) and they stay up until four o’clock in the morning. For the moment she is content. She listens to him play her songs he wrote on the guitar, and he changes the words to make them suit their situation.

Mild contentment - you are satisfied for the moment, but have a sense of impending unwell.

So, a friend finds the perfect man. They see each other – for a little over a month – before he sits her down for a talk. Everything has been wonderful, except she has seen him less than usual lately because of university finals. He explains to her that he has never been fully satisfied with anything in his life, and that she has helped him understand that he needs to find himself, and he must do it alone.

Acceptingly disappointed – the “Ah, I knew something like this had to happen” feeling. The ironic, self-said “I-told-you-so.”

So, a friend found the perfect man, and lost him. She does not hear from him for a month and a half. She accepts this, counts her losses, and continues. For some reason, she can’t get him out of her head. The song he played for her appears on the radio nearly every day that she works. The band that they both like reminds her unwillingly of him. She is annoyed by this. She has accepted the situation as the loss of a good friend.

Mild heartache – when you want to be over it, and are, but the things that remind you of them still twinge, even if you were not together very long. It is the startling lack of somebody that gets you every time.

So, a friend found the perfect man. She had all but moved on when he texted her again. She was jubilant, but afraid. What did he want? He text messaged her all day. He had found a place to live for when he moved away in the fall. It was still June. She did not get her hopes up, but secretly wished to see him.

Mild hopefulness – the “don’t-let-yourself-think-it-will-happen” that you tell yourself after you’ve already given yourself the butterflies.

So, a friend finds the perfect man. He wants to travel, just like she does. He floors her. She understands him now, after being away from him for a month and a half – things wouldn’t need to be said. She gets it. He’s sensitive to showing. He’ll get it. The words scare him, but the emotions do not.

Ironic understanding – the feeling that you understand what you wish you could have before. A form of aftersight, but add the “shake-your-head-when-no-one’s-looking-cause-you-should-have-known” whenever you think about it.

So, I found the perfect man, and he’s leaving in the fall. He speaks to me now. I couldn’t get him off my brain, and – since he is talking to me again – he obviously could not get me off his.

What now?

Mild excitement – The “oh-what-the-hell-is-going-to-happen-now?”

I am trying to remind myself that he’s leaving in the fall. I am trying to remind myself that chances are he did not find himself in a month and a half.  

Mild fear – the feeling that it could be something good, but I do not want to get my hopes up again.

Compliqué, non?

tabethareigns@live.ca